People, I could start a long list of complaints about how COVID-19 negatively affected my life. Loss of graduations, having to do school at home, having to work at home with 5 PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE. Not to mention the constant fear that loomed overhead.
A few weeks ago I sat in a relaxed position to watch a movie with my family. My heart did a few weird things that made me worry. First, I felt a hard beat against my chest, followed by a weird buzzing and fluttering during which I'm not sure my heart actually beat at all. Then my heart returned to its regular rhythm. I started to freak out.
I explained to my husband what I had felt, and he looked at me with all the sincerity and intensity of a person who is concerned about me. "I think you're having an anxiety attack," he said. I wondered aloud if it could really be that simple. What if something was wrong with my heart? What if my hyperthyroidism had come back full force? What if? He then suggested that I try some breathing exercises, some yoga, and to make sure I get some outdoor exercise every day.
Guess what? My husband was right.
He usually is. I should know better by now.
After making sincere efforts to control my anxiety, my efforts paid off. My heart flutters went away, and I didn't feel the blood pumping in my neck so much. But I still have flare-ups. At first, I couldn't believe I was having this problem. How could I let all the little things freak me out?
When I asked Mike about this, he reminded me that we are not facing little things. We are facing big, giant things that we have never faced before. Out of everything our family had prepared for, we had not prepared for a pandemic.
I also realized another problem that started to make my anxiety worse. The more I complained about my situation, the more nervous I became. The negative, scary thoughts that swarmed around me made me feel worse. Over the last few days, I have learned that the negative, angry comments on social media were upsetting me. All of the arguing, the divisiveness, and the entitlement drove me nuts.
Can I tell you something? My son is amazing. He grieved for a few minutes over his suddenly missing social life, his lack of graduation celebrating, and the fact that he can't go to the senior prom. But he didn't fall into his grief. Instead, he pulled himself out of that dark hole and decided it would be a cool story to tell his kids someday. He did not feel entitled to a graduation ceremony. He understood that things could have been worse, like going off to war or to a concentration camp. His life is pretty good, and he knows it.
If I start getting sucked into the negative, I remind myself that nowhere in my life contract am I guaranteed an easy, simple life. I can work hard. I can negotiate my situation to make things work. People, we are adults and we can do hard things. We need to stop complaining. Governors of states have been highly ridiculed for closing down schools and sporting events. But the truth is, we don't really understand the coronavirus, how it evolves, and what it can do. Be realistic with yourself. There is a chance that we are going into the fall with very similar situations on our hands. Homeschooling. Working at home. Going without, dare I say, football.
*Gasp!*
We are given a beautiful life here on this earth, and the truth is, that life can be taken away. Things could be worse. You could be affected by COVID-19 in ways that are much worse than trying to figure out Google Classroom. A family member could die.
My anxiety can be dealt with. Luckily, it's not so severe that I need medication. But even if I did, I have a great doctor who could help me with that. My kids may fall behind in their online schoolwork, but sometimes that happened when they went to school every day! I wasn't able to walk in a cap and gown to receive a fake diploma (since the real one is still in the process of being mailed to me), but who wants to sit through three pointless hours of name-reading, anyway? Not to mention my kids would've hated it.
Whatever challenge you are facing, face it with positivity. I understand that many people are going through terrible things, and I won't judge you, especially if you've lost your job, if you've been sick, or if you know someone who's been sick. Even then, positivity exists. Life is still beautiful.
May we all learn how to live and adjust well in this new normal.
A few weeks ago I sat in a relaxed position to watch a movie with my family. My heart did a few weird things that made me worry. First, I felt a hard beat against my chest, followed by a weird buzzing and fluttering during which I'm not sure my heart actually beat at all. Then my heart returned to its regular rhythm. I started to freak out.
I explained to my husband what I had felt, and he looked at me with all the sincerity and intensity of a person who is concerned about me. "I think you're having an anxiety attack," he said. I wondered aloud if it could really be that simple. What if something was wrong with my heart? What if my hyperthyroidism had come back full force? What if? He then suggested that I try some breathing exercises, some yoga, and to make sure I get some outdoor exercise every day.
Guess what? My husband was right.
He usually is. I should know better by now.
After making sincere efforts to control my anxiety, my efforts paid off. My heart flutters went away, and I didn't feel the blood pumping in my neck so much. But I still have flare-ups. At first, I couldn't believe I was having this problem. How could I let all the little things freak me out?
When I asked Mike about this, he reminded me that we are not facing little things. We are facing big, giant things that we have never faced before. Out of everything our family had prepared for, we had not prepared for a pandemic.
Can I tell you something? My son is amazing. He grieved for a few minutes over his suddenly missing social life, his lack of graduation celebrating, and the fact that he can't go to the senior prom. But he didn't fall into his grief. Instead, he pulled himself out of that dark hole and decided it would be a cool story to tell his kids someday. He did not feel entitled to a graduation ceremony. He understood that things could have been worse, like going off to war or to a concentration camp. His life is pretty good, and he knows it.
If I start getting sucked into the negative, I remind myself that nowhere in my life contract am I guaranteed an easy, simple life. I can work hard. I can negotiate my situation to make things work. People, we are adults and we can do hard things. We need to stop complaining. Governors of states have been highly ridiculed for closing down schools and sporting events. But the truth is, we don't really understand the coronavirus, how it evolves, and what it can do. Be realistic with yourself. There is a chance that we are going into the fall with very similar situations on our hands. Homeschooling. Working at home. Going without, dare I say, football.
*Gasp!*
We are given a beautiful life here on this earth, and the truth is, that life can be taken away. Things could be worse. You could be affected by COVID-19 in ways that are much worse than trying to figure out Google Classroom. A family member could die.
My anxiety can be dealt with. Luckily, it's not so severe that I need medication. But even if I did, I have a great doctor who could help me with that. My kids may fall behind in their online schoolwork, but sometimes that happened when they went to school every day! I wasn't able to walk in a cap and gown to receive a fake diploma (since the real one is still in the process of being mailed to me), but who wants to sit through three pointless hours of name-reading, anyway? Not to mention my kids would've hated it.
Whatever challenge you are facing, face it with positivity. I understand that many people are going through terrible things, and I won't judge you, especially if you've lost your job, if you've been sick, or if you know someone who's been sick. Even then, positivity exists. Life is still beautiful.
May we all learn how to live and adjust well in this new normal.
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