Now that the kids are back in school, and I have been shopping twenty times, and I have paid fees, and I have changes two of my kid's schedules, and I have been to one parent-teacher-student conference already, let's talk about social media.
Ew, right? Nobody likes to talk about this. We constantly have to warn our kids not to send sexual pictures or sexts over the phone. We tell them the reasons you don't join in cyber-bullying. We remind them that no one acts like their true self on social media, and that some people are friendly for the wrong reasons. Does this sound familiar?
"Don't ever agree to meet up with someone you don't know."
"Don't send nude photos of yourself and request them of anyone else."
"Don't get involved in cyber-bullying. If someone is bullying you, get off social media."
If not, you're in big trouble. But most of us, as parents, have been through this talk with our teens and pre-teens, especially if they have their own phone. Another talk I recently had with my kids was about the impact of social media.
This is about what I said:
"You need to understand that whatever you post on social media is out there for the world to see. Be aware that employers can and will look up your profiles. Not only your friends will see what you post, but your friends' friends will see what you post. Watch your language. Respect others. Be kind."
Etc.
Do you remember when you were a kid, and things were bad enough? My cousin threw up in junior high once, and it took her months to get over it. And that was before cell phones! At least we could hide in the back of our classrooms until things blew over. Now, news can spread not only through an entire high school, but through ten high schools at a time.
Earlier this year a young woman in our area committed suicide. Many of the kids were heartbroken. I wasn't there and I don't know what happened, but I made some educated guesses and several possible scenarios. Almost all of them involved social media. Every time something like that happens, I remind my kids. Again and again and again.
"Don't forward embarrassing photos or videos."
"Don't forward gossip."
"Don't join in the bullying. Ever. Don't make comments or send messages unless they are to contradict the negative."
And I'm not picking on the girls. I have boys, and I understand - at least somewhat - how important it is to stay out of the social media black hole. Which brings me to my next worry...
What if it's my kid getting bullied? Yep, it happens. I don't care who you are; any twist of fate can land you in the hot seat. Which means even if your son or daughter is the most popular kid in school, they can still turn into the victim overnight.
If your child finds himself or herself at the worst end of a bullying situation, help them out! Have your child get off social media ASAP, and take a nice, long break. Delete accounts. If it's really bad, get a new phone number. I'm serious! I would do anything to get my kid out of a bad situation. Confronting your problems is one thing, but sometimes the best way to win this battle is to delete it.
Also, remind your children over and over that social media is a farce. People put their "best-of-everything" up, including photos that show only the best parts of their lives. I've been guilty of this, too. I don't want people to see me when I'm a mess. But I have to balance it out by not posting everything in a too-shiny light. I try to be real by admitting that I make lots of mistakes, both as a mom and as a wife. But I'm going off on a tangent here...
The fact is, warn your kids about more than just the obvious. I'm new at this, too. We didn't grow up with social media, and now its an essential part of our lives. How do we police this? What do we do? I'm not sure entirely, but don't be afraid to create boundaries and give clear reminders over and over again. Yes, we know kids hate that. But they need it. Repetition is the mother of learning.
As for you, give yourself a pat on the back. You're doing a great job raising your kids, helping to raise your nieces and nephews, and watching out for the neighbors' children. You are amazing.
Best,
Mandy
Ew, right? Nobody likes to talk about this. We constantly have to warn our kids not to send sexual pictures or sexts over the phone. We tell them the reasons you don't join in cyber-bullying. We remind them that no one acts like their true self on social media, and that some people are friendly for the wrong reasons. Does this sound familiar?
"Don't ever agree to meet up with someone you don't know."
"Don't send nude photos of yourself and request them of anyone else."
"Don't get involved in cyber-bullying. If someone is bullying you, get off social media."
If not, you're in big trouble. But most of us, as parents, have been through this talk with our teens and pre-teens, especially if they have their own phone. Another talk I recently had with my kids was about the impact of social media.
This is about what I said:
"You need to understand that whatever you post on social media is out there for the world to see. Be aware that employers can and will look up your profiles. Not only your friends will see what you post, but your friends' friends will see what you post. Watch your language. Respect others. Be kind."
Etc.
Do you remember when you were a kid, and things were bad enough? My cousin threw up in junior high once, and it took her months to get over it. And that was before cell phones! At least we could hide in the back of our classrooms until things blew over. Now, news can spread not only through an entire high school, but through ten high schools at a time.
Earlier this year a young woman in our area committed suicide. Many of the kids were heartbroken. I wasn't there and I don't know what happened, but I made some educated guesses and several possible scenarios. Almost all of them involved social media. Every time something like that happens, I remind my kids. Again and again and again.
"Don't forward embarrassing photos or videos."
"Don't forward gossip."
"Don't join in the bullying. Ever. Don't make comments or send messages unless they are to contradict the negative."
And I'm not picking on the girls. I have boys, and I understand - at least somewhat - how important it is to stay out of the social media black hole. Which brings me to my next worry...
What if it's my kid getting bullied? Yep, it happens. I don't care who you are; any twist of fate can land you in the hot seat. Which means even if your son or daughter is the most popular kid in school, they can still turn into the victim overnight.
If your child finds himself or herself at the worst end of a bullying situation, help them out! Have your child get off social media ASAP, and take a nice, long break. Delete accounts. If it's really bad, get a new phone number. I'm serious! I would do anything to get my kid out of a bad situation. Confronting your problems is one thing, but sometimes the best way to win this battle is to delete it.
Also, remind your children over and over that social media is a farce. People put their "best-of-everything" up, including photos that show only the best parts of their lives. I've been guilty of this, too. I don't want people to see me when I'm a mess. But I have to balance it out by not posting everything in a too-shiny light. I try to be real by admitting that I make lots of mistakes, both as a mom and as a wife. But I'm going off on a tangent here...
The fact is, warn your kids about more than just the obvious. I'm new at this, too. We didn't grow up with social media, and now its an essential part of our lives. How do we police this? What do we do? I'm not sure entirely, but don't be afraid to create boundaries and give clear reminders over and over again. Yes, we know kids hate that. But they need it. Repetition is the mother of learning.
As for you, give yourself a pat on the back. You're doing a great job raising your kids, helping to raise your nieces and nephews, and watching out for the neighbors' children. You are amazing.
Best,
Mandy
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